Sara Jean Underwood hot breasts are big and jiggly all over my flat two dimensional Gateway Outlet personal computer screen. As a professional exec ass-analyst, the knockers of Underwood please me. As a civilian dude, I’m totally bummed. I’m bummed at the lack of upward social mobility in our crap culture that prevents me from motor-boating them mountains of happy. I am not pleased. I’m angry. Furthermore, upon reading in Life And Style Weekly that Underwood is now dating that jerk-off from ABC’s Bachelorette, my mood is mos def not lightened. I’m sad squirt. I need a drink. Perhaps the Royal Thong Sniffer left the liquor wagon unattended. Of course, we speak Underwood’s name. We offer up four full skeet salvos for this great photo! Is that camel toe?